1 00:00:08,407 --> 00:00:09,875 I just ate a bag of cheese boodles 2 00:00:09,877 --> 00:00:11,710 without using my hands. 3 00:00:11,712 --> 00:00:15,547 Lazy Tuesday, you are delivering in a big way. 4 00:00:15,549 --> 00:00:18,550 Yeah, it's nice to finally have a day 5 00:00:18,552 --> 00:00:22,554 where nothing interesting happens whatsoever. 6 00:00:26,627 --> 00:00:27,926 Everyone get down! 7 00:00:27,928 --> 00:00:30,095 Don't let it taste human flesh. 8 00:00:32,132 --> 00:00:33,832 - What is it? - Can we keep it? 9 00:00:33,834 --> 00:00:35,901 Kill it, kill it! 10 00:00:41,541 --> 00:00:42,941 Patience. 11 00:00:45,112 --> 00:00:46,612 Gotcha! 12 00:00:51,151 --> 00:00:52,851 Great. Now get it outta here. 13 00:00:52,853 --> 00:00:55,154 Smells like if death could barf. 14 00:00:55,156 --> 00:00:56,889 Great-unkle Ford, need any help with that? 15 00:00:56,891 --> 00:00:59,558 I've read all about these creatures in your journal, 16 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:01,627 - and I think I know how to-- - No! 17 00:01:01,629 --> 00:01:03,328 I'm sorry, Dipper. 18 00:01:03,330 --> 00:01:04,997 On the dark, weird road I travel, 19 00:01:04,999 --> 00:01:07,332 I'm afraid you cannot follow. 20 00:01:08,334 --> 00:01:10,169 Well, call me for dinner. 21 00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:16,608 Maybe next time then? Or not. 22 00:01:16,610 --> 00:01:18,644 Or never. 23 00:01:18,646 --> 00:01:21,713 Oh, Dipper, don't take it so hard. 24 00:01:21,715 --> 00:01:23,115 No, do take it hard. 25 00:01:23,117 --> 00:01:24,750 Take it hard and serious. 26 00:01:24,752 --> 00:01:26,919 My brother is a dangerous know-it-all 27 00:01:26,921 --> 00:01:28,787 and the stuff he's messing with is even worse. 28 00:01:28,789 --> 00:01:31,590 Do yourself a favor and stay away from him, you hear me? 29 00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:33,358 But Grunkle Stan, all summer long, 30 00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:35,327 I've wanted to know who the author of the journal was. 31 00:01:35,329 --> 00:01:37,029 Now the guy lives in our basement, 32 00:01:37,031 --> 00:01:38,764 and I can't even talk to him. 33 00:01:38,766 --> 00:01:40,866 Don't worry about what's on the basement. 34 00:01:40,868 --> 00:01:43,635 - You belong up here with me and Mabel. - Yeah! 35 00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:47,739 Besides, the season finale of Duck-tective is airing this Friday. 36 00:01:47,741 --> 00:01:49,908 That's all the mystery you need this week. 37 00:01:49,910 --> 00:01:52,244 Come on, quack with us, Dipper. 38 00:01:52,246 --> 00:01:53,645 Quack, quack, quack. 39 00:01:53,647 --> 00:01:55,247 Yeah. Quack, quack, quack. 40 00:02:02,857 --> 00:02:05,124 Quack, quack, quack! 41 00:02:05,126 --> 00:02:07,192 Why isn't he quacking? 42 00:02:47,967 --> 00:02:49,668 Dear Mom and Dad, 43 00:02:49,670 --> 00:02:51,103 we've been in Gravity Falls for a few months, 44 00:02:51,105 --> 00:02:52,404 and so much has happened. 45 00:02:52,406 --> 00:02:54,072 Just yesterday, gravity reversed itself, 46 00:02:54,074 --> 00:02:56,441 almost destroying the universe, 47 00:02:56,443 --> 00:02:59,178 and totally wrecking the whole town. 48 00:02:59,180 --> 00:03:01,013 Well they say it was an earthquake, 49 00:03:01,015 --> 00:03:02,748 but you know what I think? 50 00:03:02,750 --> 00:03:04,349 I think I'm gonna have to start serving 51 00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:06,018 pineapple right-side up cake. 52 00:03:06,020 --> 00:03:08,887 Am I right? 53 00:03:08,889 --> 00:03:10,722 Am I right? 54 00:03:10,724 --> 00:03:13,325 Let the rebuilding of the town begin. 55 00:03:13,327 --> 00:03:15,460 Wrecking ball, start wrecking things. 56 00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:19,731 But he coolest part of the summer 57 00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:21,733 was when Grunkle Stan's twin brother 58 00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:23,402 came out of this portal thingy 59 00:03:23,404 --> 00:03:25,837 Now we have two grunkles for the price of one. 60 00:03:25,839 --> 00:03:28,340 And they are adorable together. 61 00:03:28,342 --> 00:03:30,042 "We love each other so much!" 62 00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:33,745 Mabel, you'll never guess what I found 63 00:03:33,747 --> 00:03:34,846 at the store today. 64 00:03:34,848 --> 00:03:36,748 Dogs. Dogs with hats! 65 00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:40,252 No. It's my favorite fantasy-talking, level-counting, 66 00:03:40,254 --> 00:03:43,188 statistics and graph-paper involving game of all time: 67 00:03:43,190 --> 00:03:45,924 Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons! 68 00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:47,392 You wanna play it with me? 69 00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:49,962 Well, I do like unicorns, 70 00:03:49,964 --> 00:03:51,830 and that hot elf looks promising. 71 00:03:51,832 --> 00:03:54,066 - How do you play? - The rules are simple. 72 00:03:54,068 --> 00:03:56,368 First, you roll a 38-sided die 73 00:03:56,370 --> 00:03:58,036 to determine the level of each player's 74 00:03:58,038 --> 00:03:59,738 statistical analysis power orb. 75 00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:02,107 These orbs relate directly to the amount of quadrants 76 00:04:02,109 --> 00:04:03,909 that your team has dominion over, 77 00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:05,410 which is inverse to the anti-quadrants 78 00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:06,945 in your quadrant satchel. 79 00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:08,847 And then we ride unicorns? 80 00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:10,315 Yes! 81 00:04:10,317 --> 00:04:11,516 And no. 82 00:04:12,819 --> 00:04:15,754 First, we make a graph. 83 00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:18,790 This is like Homework the Game. 84 00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:21,393 Come on, Mabel. I need at least two people to play. 85 00:04:21,395 --> 00:04:23,895 Oh, wow, would you look at that? 86 00:04:23,897 --> 00:04:26,965 Two people. 87 00:04:26,967 --> 00:04:30,102 Hey, Soos, up for a little game of D and D 88 00:04:30,104 --> 00:04:31,770 Sorry, Dipper, I don't go in for 89 00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:33,772 that pen-and-paper kinda stuff. 90 00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:35,407 - I'm more of an FCLORP-er. - A what? 91 00:04:35,409 --> 00:04:37,142 FCLORP. 92 00:04:37,144 --> 00:04:39,444 Foam and Cardboard Legitimate Outdoor Role Playing. 93 00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:41,847 It is where a passionate brethren of craftsmen 94 00:04:41,849 --> 00:04:43,915 bring their dreams to magical reality. 95 00:04:43,917 --> 00:04:46,285 Let yon priestess go, Elf Mage. 96 00:04:46,287 --> 00:04:48,553 Never, Paladin Radmaster. 97 00:04:48,555 --> 00:04:51,189 Fireball, fireball, fireball. 98 00:04:52,325 --> 00:04:53,959 I'm a fortress. 99 00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:55,961 Well, thanks anyways, Soos. 100 00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:58,964 Say, is this that game that's mostly math and writing 101 00:04:58,966 --> 00:05:01,166 and isn't anything like the picture on the box? 102 00:05:01,168 --> 00:05:03,969 Yes, it is! You wanna play with me, Grunkle Stan? 103 00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:08,040 Ha! Look, kid, I prefer to do my dice rolling in Vegas. 104 00:05:08,042 --> 00:05:10,042 Besides, only a game designed by nerds 105 00:05:10,044 --> 00:05:12,811 would have "Charisma" as a fantasy power. 106 00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:14,813 Check this out. 107 00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:16,214 "When facing yon adversaries, 108 00:05:16,216 --> 00:05:19,184 shield thyself under an elfan buttress." 109 00:05:19,186 --> 00:05:21,320 Ha ha, say it again. 110 00:05:21,322 --> 00:05:23,322 Buttress. 111 00:05:23,324 --> 00:05:25,457 Hey, laugh all you want. 112 00:05:25,459 --> 00:05:27,893 You guys just aren't smart enough to understand it. 113 00:05:27,895 --> 00:05:30,862 Sorry, dude, but it is kinda nerdy. 114 00:05:30,864 --> 00:05:33,265 Well, I'm off to lay siege to a goblin fortress. 115 00:05:33,267 --> 00:05:35,000 To my grandma's backyard! 116 00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:40,272 Oh, nice, you rolled a 17. 117 00:05:40,274 --> 00:05:43,375 And this is sad. 118 00:05:43,377 --> 00:05:45,977 Maybe I should start obsessing over Wendy again. 119 00:05:45,979 --> 00:05:48,213 Hey, give it back. 120 00:05:48,215 --> 00:05:51,049 Come on, Gompers. Let go. 121 00:05:51,051 --> 00:05:53,352 Oh, man, my 38-sided die! 122 00:06:11,871 --> 00:06:13,338 Dipper, stop! 123 00:06:13,340 --> 00:06:14,873 Great-uncle Ford. 124 00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:17,442 What did I say about coming down here? 125 00:06:17,444 --> 00:06:20,912 My work is far too dangerous for a single living soul 126 00:06:20,914 --> 00:06:23,048 to spend even one second-- 127 00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:25,183 Wait. Is that a 38-sided die 128 00:06:25,185 --> 00:06:27,986 from Dungeons, Dungeons, And More Dungeons? 129 00:06:27,988 --> 00:06:30,255 Yeah. You know that game? 130 00:06:30,257 --> 00:06:33,592 With pen and paper, shield and sword... 131 00:06:33,594 --> 00:06:37,028 ...our quest shall be our sweet reward! 132 00:06:38,532 --> 00:06:42,234 This is my favorite game in the whole multi-verse. 133 00:06:42,236 --> 00:06:44,069 I can't believe they still make it. 134 00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:45,937 They do, and I've been looking all day 135 00:06:45,939 --> 00:06:47,272 for someone to play with me. 136 00:06:47,274 --> 00:06:50,976 My boy, do you know what this means? 137 00:06:50,978 --> 00:06:54,446 We must stop everything I've been working on at once, 138 00:06:54,448 --> 00:06:56,148 and play! 139 00:07:00,987 --> 00:07:02,587 That's going to leave a mark. 140 00:07:03,988 --> 00:07:05,425 Okay, I think we've got everything we need to watch 141 00:07:05,426 --> 00:07:08,960 the season finale of Duck-tective tomorrow. 142 00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:10,495 I even made mouth ramps 143 00:07:10,497 --> 00:07:12,297 so we can pour food into our mouths 144 00:07:12,299 --> 00:07:14,399 without taking our eyes off the screen. 145 00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:18,637 And I recreated the main character 146 00:07:18,639 --> 00:07:20,505 out of some spare taxidermy parts. 147 00:07:20,507 --> 00:07:22,240 Quack, quack, I'm the duck detective. 148 00:07:22,242 --> 00:07:24,109 Who stole my bread loaf? 149 00:07:25,979 --> 00:07:27,145 That is so messed up. 150 00:07:27,147 --> 00:07:28,980 Dipper would love that. 151 00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:30,415 Yeah, where is the little squirt anyway? 152 00:07:30,417 --> 00:07:32,350 I haven't seen him all afternoon. 153 00:07:34,654 --> 00:07:36,421 All right, you enter the chamber. 154 00:07:36,423 --> 00:07:38,990 Princess Unattainabelle beckons you. 155 00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:41,126 But wait, it's a trap. 156 00:07:41,128 --> 00:07:45,330 An illusion cast by Probabilitor the Annoying. 157 00:07:45,332 --> 00:07:46,731 You know his weakness, right? 158 00:07:46,733 --> 00:07:48,733 Prime statistical anomalies over 37 159 00:07:48,735 --> 00:07:51,570 but not exceeding 51. 160 00:07:51,572 --> 00:07:53,972 Yes! In your face, 161 00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:56,475 you cardboard wizard. 162 00:07:56,477 --> 00:07:58,243 Hmm, the old boy looks a bit different 163 00:07:58,245 --> 00:08:00,145 than he did back in my day. 164 00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:02,080 Yeah, they change the art every few years. 165 00:08:02,082 --> 00:08:04,049 Thankfully, you missed the period 166 00:08:04,051 --> 00:08:06,585 when the creators of the game tried to make it "cooler." 167 00:08:06,587 --> 00:08:09,254 Man, this game is boring. 168 00:08:11,023 --> 00:08:13,592 You dare challenge Probabilitizzle? 169 00:08:13,594 --> 00:08:16,061 ♪ Put the cat back and roll the dice ♪ 170 00:08:16,063 --> 00:08:19,164 ♪ Don't step to the wizard 'cause the wizard... ♪ 171 00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:21,066 ...updated for the nine double-deuce! 172 00:08:21,068 --> 00:08:23,668 - Available wherever dope games are sold. - Peace! 173 00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:27,038 Must've been dark times, those '90s. 174 00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:30,675 Sounds like a good time to be stuck between dimensions. 175 00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:34,112 Great-uncle Ford, I've been meaning to ask you. 176 00:08:34,114 --> 00:08:36,181 Where were you before you came out of that machine, 177 00:08:36,183 --> 00:08:38,016 and what have you been doing down here? 178 00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:39,651 Are you working on something behind that curtain? 179 00:08:39,653 --> 00:08:42,020 Dipper, it's best if you and the family 180 00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:44,356 stay away from that subject. 181 00:08:44,358 --> 00:08:47,092 Honestly, I'm not sure any of you could handle the real answer. 182 00:08:47,094 --> 00:08:49,027 - But-but I could handle it. - Ah! 183 00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:51,129 But I can show you a little something 184 00:08:51,131 --> 00:08:52,297 I brought back with me. 185 00:08:55,167 --> 00:08:57,702 An infinity-sided die. 186 00:08:59,806 --> 00:09:03,174 That's so cool... and impossible. 187 00:09:03,176 --> 00:09:05,744 These things are outlawed in 9,000 dimensions. 188 00:09:05,746 --> 00:09:09,080 You wanna know why? Look at those symbols. 189 00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:12,117 Infinite sides means infinite outcomes. 190 00:09:12,119 --> 00:09:14,553 If I rolled it, anything could happen. 191 00:09:14,555 --> 00:09:16,321 Our faces could melt into jelly. 192 00:09:16,323 --> 00:09:18,189 The world could turn into an egg. 193 00:09:18,191 --> 00:09:20,458 Or you could just roll an eight. Who knows? 194 00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:24,095 That's why I have to keep it in this protective cheap plastic case. 195 00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:26,164 Now, back to the game. 196 00:09:26,166 --> 00:09:28,166 You've got Probabilitor on the ropes. 197 00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:34,172 Oh, man. 198 00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:37,242 And then, if I had a drag in here, and then a plus-three-- 199 00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:39,477 Dipper, are you gonna go to sleep? 200 00:09:39,479 --> 00:09:41,546 You've been saying dork words for hours. 201 00:09:41,548 --> 00:09:44,316 Sorry, Mabel. I gotta finish this dungeon. 202 00:09:44,318 --> 00:09:46,251 It's gonna totally stump Great-uncle Ford tomorrow. 203 00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:48,320 I can't wait to see the look on his face. 204 00:09:48,322 --> 00:09:52,390 You're, uh, spending a lot of time with old Fordsie lately, huh? 205 00:09:52,392 --> 00:09:54,159 You have no idea. 206 00:09:54,161 --> 00:09:56,094 I knew the author must be cool, 207 00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:57,462 but he's better than I imagined. 208 00:09:57,464 --> 00:09:59,431 And he doesn't make fun of me all the time, 209 00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:01,099 the way you and Grunkle Stan do. 210 00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:03,234 Give him time. 211 00:10:03,236 --> 00:10:05,637 Hi-oh! 212 00:10:05,639 --> 00:10:07,439 Ah, you got me. 213 00:10:08,641 --> 00:10:11,543 You got me. 214 00:10:13,879 --> 00:10:15,447 Thanks for coming over to watch tonight's 215 00:10:15,449 --> 00:10:17,482 Duck-tective finale, Grenda. 216 00:10:17,484 --> 00:10:21,252 Of course. I'm so invested in the life of these characters. 217 00:10:21,254 --> 00:10:23,288 Hey, hey, look at you. 218 00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:25,156 Someone's all dressed up. 219 00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:26,458 It's a big night. 220 00:10:26,460 --> 00:10:28,560 I think we all remember where we were 221 00:10:28,562 --> 00:10:30,328 when we learned Duck-tective was shot. 222 00:10:32,265 --> 00:10:34,532 Viewing positions, everyone! 223 00:10:36,702 --> 00:10:40,238 Ahh! Graph paper. Kill it, kill it! 224 00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:43,141 Dipper, could you maybe move this to another room? 225 00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:44,442 No dice. 226 00:10:44,444 --> 00:10:46,144 We ran out of room in the basement 227 00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:47,245 and we're going for a world record. 228 00:10:47,247 --> 00:10:49,247 Now dice! 229 00:10:49,249 --> 00:10:50,649 Thirty-two. 230 00:10:50,651 --> 00:10:54,252 - Yes! 7,000 points damage. - You got me. 231 00:10:54,254 --> 00:10:56,254 Why? Why with this? 232 00:10:56,256 --> 00:10:58,156 You wanna break a record, Ford? 233 00:10:58,158 --> 00:11:00,291 You already got it for world's nerdiest old man. 234 00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:03,328 Hey, at least I'm not all keyed up to watch a kids' show. 235 00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:05,330 I'll have you know that Duck-tective 236 00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:07,799 has a big mystery element, and a lot of humor 237 00:11:07,801 --> 00:11:09,300 that goes over kids' heads. 238 00:11:09,302 --> 00:11:11,202 I don't get a lot of it, 239 00:11:11,204 --> 00:11:13,171 but I like animals in human situations. 240 00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:15,240 Grunkle Stan, it starts in a few minutes. 241 00:11:16,809 --> 00:11:19,778 Move that and pay the price. 242 00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:22,313 Oh, what, 50 magical dwarf dollars? 243 00:11:22,315 --> 00:11:24,883 Don't mock our fantastical monetary system. 244 00:11:24,885 --> 00:11:26,818 I'll mock all I want. It's my TV room. 245 00:11:26,820 --> 00:11:28,453 It's my house! You... 246 00:11:28,455 --> 00:11:31,556 Listen, Stanley, did it ever occur to you 247 00:11:31,558 --> 00:11:34,325 that if you joined us, you might actually have fun? 248 00:11:34,327 --> 00:11:35,960 What? Now you listen to me. 249 00:11:35,962 --> 00:11:38,196 As long as I live, I will never-- 250 00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:39,731 - Grunkle Stan, wait. - Ever. 251 00:11:39,733 --> 00:11:41,933 - Stanley! - Play your smarty-pants nerd game. 252 00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:43,601 No! 253 00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:54,813 Mortals of Dimension 46 Apostrophe Backflash. 254 00:11:54,815 --> 00:11:56,381 Kneel before me and... 255 00:11:58,517 --> 00:12:01,419 Snivel. 256 00:12:01,421 --> 00:12:03,288 I am Probabilitor, 257 00:12:03,290 --> 00:12:06,324 the greatest wizard in all mathology, 258 00:12:06,326 --> 00:12:08,393 give or take an error of 0.4. 259 00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:10,261 Is this normal? 260 00:12:10,263 --> 00:12:12,797 Have you come to send us on the quest of a lifetime, 261 00:12:12,799 --> 00:12:14,432 because we're the smartest players you've ever met? 262 00:12:14,434 --> 00:12:17,669 You are the smartest players I've ever met. 263 00:12:17,671 --> 00:12:19,537 That's why I'm going to eat your brains, 264 00:12:19,539 --> 00:12:20,905 to gain your intelligence. 265 00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:22,373 It's what I do. 266 00:12:22,375 --> 00:12:24,776 - It's his thing. - What?! 267 00:12:24,778 --> 00:12:27,245 Seize them! 268 00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:29,881 Your math is no match for my gun, you idiot. 269 00:12:29,883 --> 00:12:31,249 Math ray! 270 00:12:33,619 --> 00:12:35,754 I'm not here to play games. 271 00:12:37,623 --> 00:12:40,925 Now to the forest for the ultimate game. 272 00:12:45,297 --> 00:12:48,433 So the room's free now. 273 00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:50,401 - Who wants to watch Duck-tective? 274 00:12:50,403 --> 00:12:54,838 Nobody? More couch for Grenda. 275 00:12:56,542 --> 00:12:58,409 Oh, no. That crazy wizard is gonna eat 276 00:12:58,411 --> 00:13:01,846 our brother's brains. We have to stop him. 277 00:13:01,848 --> 00:13:04,449 Maybe let him get a couple of bites in Ford's brain first. 278 00:13:04,451 --> 00:13:06,518 Even things out, smartness-wise. 279 00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:09,387 - Grunkle Stan! - All right, all right. 280 00:13:09,389 --> 00:13:10,755 I guess if we have no other choice, 281 00:13:10,757 --> 00:13:12,824 we'll go on a... 282 00:13:12,826 --> 00:13:14,592 epic wizard quest. 283 00:13:14,594 --> 00:13:17,529 Everyone grab a weapon. 284 00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:22,734 Nice. 285 00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:26,971 We're coming for you, Dipper. 286 00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:28,439 And Great-uncle Ford. 287 00:13:28,441 --> 00:13:29,841 And possibly that hot elf, 288 00:13:29,843 --> 00:13:31,709 if he's got anything to do with this. 289 00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:40,485 With each brain I eat, 290 00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:43,454 I shall increase my enchant-elligence. 291 00:13:43,456 --> 00:13:44,789 If my hands were free, 292 00:13:44,791 --> 00:13:46,991 I'd break every part of your face. 293 00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:48,426 The time has come. 294 00:13:48,428 --> 00:13:51,462 Hot elf, ready the brain-cooking pot. 295 00:13:51,464 --> 00:13:53,932 Uh, yes, Probabilitor. 296 00:14:05,377 --> 00:14:07,345 We must be getting close. 297 00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:09,380 These fairy bites are getting more frequent. 298 00:14:09,382 --> 00:14:11,583 Hey, look, listen. 299 00:14:13,018 --> 00:14:15,920 Halt! You interlopers are trespassing 300 00:14:15,922 --> 00:14:18,556 on the ancient forest of Probabilitor the wizard. 301 00:14:18,558 --> 00:14:20,058 If ye wish to pass, 302 00:14:20,060 --> 00:14:23,595 first ye must complete seven unworldly quests, 303 00:14:23,597 --> 00:14:26,464 each more difficult than the last. 304 00:14:25,700 --> 00:14:26,500 No! 305 00:14:28,067 --> 00:14:30,501 Is he... dead? 306 00:14:30,503 --> 00:14:32,971 He's magic, sweetie. I'm sure he's fine. 307 00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:34,806 There's no cops in the forest. 308 00:14:34,808 --> 00:14:37,542 We take this to our graves. 309 00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:41,479 - What do we do, what do we do? - Stop thinking, Dipper. 310 00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:43,514 The more wrinkly your brain gets, 311 00:14:43,516 --> 00:14:44,916 the more he'll wanna eat it. 312 00:14:44,918 --> 00:14:47,385 And now, a little math problem. 313 00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:50,421 When I subtract your brain from your skull, 314 00:14:50,423 --> 00:14:54,525 add salt and divide your family, what's the remainder? 315 00:14:54,527 --> 00:14:56,461 Your butt! 316 00:14:56,463 --> 00:14:59,597 What? My butt isn't part of this particular equation. 317 00:15:01,468 --> 00:15:03,868 Drat! How did you make it past my one guard? 318 00:15:03,870 --> 00:15:05,436 Very well. 319 00:15:05,438 --> 00:15:09,474 There's only one way your family can save you. 320 00:15:09,476 --> 00:15:11,976 You must defeat me 321 00:15:11,978 --> 00:15:14,812 in Dungeons, Dungeons, And More Dungeons, 322 00:15:14,814 --> 00:15:17,148 real life edition! 323 00:15:20,487 --> 00:15:22,420 What? Oh, come on. 324 00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:25,490 I choose my characters versus... 325 00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:29,060 Yours. 326 00:15:29,062 --> 00:15:31,095 Oh, my ears. 327 00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:32,897 They're so pointy. 328 00:15:32,899 --> 00:15:34,599 There better be something protective 329 00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:37,068 under this tunic. Oh, no, there isn't. 330 00:15:37,070 --> 00:15:39,070 Seriously? 331 00:15:39,072 --> 00:15:41,072 Can't we just, like, arm wrestle or something? 332 00:15:41,074 --> 00:15:43,207 Come on, this game is a lot of fun. 333 00:15:43,209 --> 00:15:45,476 I had my mom pack me a lunch. 334 00:15:45,478 --> 00:15:48,079 Ew, apple slices? I'll eat you last. 335 00:15:48,081 --> 00:15:51,816 Just make with the rules, ugly. 336 00:15:51,818 --> 00:15:53,885 The game is a battle royale. 337 00:15:53,887 --> 00:15:55,453 We help our characters by casting spells 338 00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:57,455 determined by rolls of the dice. 339 00:15:57,457 --> 00:16:00,625 If you win, I go back to my own dimension. 340 00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:04,195 But if I win, I eat their brains. 341 00:16:04,197 --> 00:16:05,563 Hey, I'm not sure this is such a good-- 342 00:16:05,565 --> 00:16:07,532 - Deal! - Oh, boy. 343 00:16:07,534 --> 00:16:10,601 Let the game begin! 344 00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:14,739 Attack! 345 00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:21,179 What do we do? What are our moves? 346 00:16:21,181 --> 00:16:23,548 There are no moves. You make them up. 347 00:16:23,550 --> 00:16:24,782 What? Really? 348 00:16:24,784 --> 00:16:26,818 Yes. I tried to tell you. 349 00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:30,488 This game involves math, but also risk and imagination. 350 00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:32,724 - Risk! - Imagination?! 351 00:16:32,726 --> 00:16:35,760 Grunkle Stan, make something up. It's just like lying. 352 00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:38,696 I cast... uh... 353 00:16:39,699 --> 00:16:42,066 Shield of shielding. 354 00:16:45,104 --> 00:16:46,637 Ha! We're doin' it. 355 00:16:46,639 --> 00:16:49,574 Shield of shielding reversal spell. 356 00:16:52,644 --> 00:16:54,779 I cast giggle time bouncy boots. 357 00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:00,685 Fat flame-y sword. 358 00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:02,954 Super-hot flame-y sword! 359 00:17:07,593 --> 00:17:08,893 No! 360 00:17:08,895 --> 00:17:11,562 Drat you. You'll never outrun my... 361 00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:16,267 Ogre-nado. It is what it sounds like. 362 00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:22,974 I cast Centaur-taur! Yah! 363 00:17:28,614 --> 00:17:31,949 Mabel, I am so confused and so proud right now. 364 00:17:54,239 --> 00:17:55,873 Ha ha ha, yes! 365 00:17:55,875 --> 00:17:58,609 I was saving the worst for last. 366 00:17:58,611 --> 00:18:00,011 Oh, no. 367 00:18:00,013 --> 00:18:01,779 The impossi-beast. 368 00:18:01,781 --> 00:18:03,648 Hey, I thought they banned this character. 369 00:18:03,650 --> 00:18:05,783 Think again. I'm playing the controversial 370 00:18:05,785 --> 00:18:08,686 1991-1992 edition. 371 00:18:09,788 --> 00:18:11,656 I'll think of some weapons. 372 00:18:11,658 --> 00:18:13,091 You don't understand. 373 00:18:13,093 --> 00:18:14,625 This is the most powerful monster in the game. 374 00:18:14,627 --> 00:18:17,628 He can only be defeated by rolling a perfect 38. 375 00:18:17,630 --> 00:18:18,696 But the odds of that are-- 376 00:18:18,698 --> 00:18:21,632 Hey, long odds are what you want 377 00:18:21,634 --> 00:18:23,201 when you're a world-class gambler. 378 00:18:23,203 --> 00:18:25,636 All right, Stan, you can do this. 379 00:18:25,638 --> 00:18:27,605 Papa needs a new pair of... 380 00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:29,240 twins! 381 00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:38,783 No!! 382 00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:40,651 Sorry, nerd wizard. 383 00:18:40,653 --> 00:18:44,288 All your smarts are no match for dumb luck. 384 00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:46,190 I cast Death Muffins! 385 00:18:53,298 --> 00:18:54,999 - Yes! - Yes! 386 00:18:56,735 --> 00:18:57,869 Ha ha ha! 387 00:18:57,871 --> 00:18:59,837 The game is, like, over. 388 00:18:59,839 --> 00:19:01,739 Excelsi-whatever. 389 00:19:01,741 --> 00:19:04,675 No! I'm returning to my own realm. 390 00:19:04,677 --> 00:19:07,345 I'm turning into pure math. 391 00:19:07,347 --> 00:19:11,115 What are the odds?! 392 00:19:13,252 --> 00:19:15,086 Grunkle Stan, that was amazing. 393 00:19:15,088 --> 00:19:16,721 How did you know that you would win? 394 00:19:16,723 --> 00:19:19,123 Hey, a gambler never reveals his secrets. 395 00:19:21,059 --> 00:19:24,762 Man, that was fun for ages eight to 80. 396 00:19:24,764 --> 00:19:27,265 Or a million or however old you guys are. 397 00:19:27,267 --> 00:19:30,868 You know, I'm sorry for making fun of your game, kiddo. 398 00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:32,904 Sure, it might be too nerdy for me, 399 00:19:32,906 --> 00:19:34,739 but it's just the right amount of nerdy 400 00:19:34,741 --> 00:19:36,340 for you and my brother. 401 00:19:36,342 --> 00:19:38,176 And if you two wanna hang out sometimes, 402 00:19:38,178 --> 00:19:39,744 I won't get in your way. 403 00:19:39,746 --> 00:19:41,012 Actually, after all that, 404 00:19:41,014 --> 00:19:42,980 I could use a little mindless fun. 405 00:19:42,982 --> 00:19:46,717 Guys, we can watch the second showing of Duck-tective. 406 00:19:46,719 --> 00:19:48,085 It's not too late. 407 00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:57,728 I just don't understand who shot you. 408 00:19:57,730 --> 00:20:00,198 The only person clever enough to defeat Duck-tective 409 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,433 is... Duck-tective. 410 00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:14,745 He had a twin brother all along? 411 00:20:14,747 --> 00:20:16,881 That's the big twist we were waiting for? 412 00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:18,049 What a rip-off. 413 00:20:18,051 --> 00:20:19,817 I predicted that, like, a year ago. 414 00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:26,857 This will be here if you ever need it. 415 00:20:26,859 --> 00:20:30,728 Really? Even though I got us into the whole game-playing mess? 416 00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:32,797 Ah, we both got carried away. 417 00:20:32,799 --> 00:20:36,267 I guess we'd both gone for a while without a friend. 418 00:20:36,269 --> 00:20:38,803 Dipper, can I tell you something? 419 00:20:39,938 --> 00:20:41,172 You asked me earlier 420 00:20:41,174 --> 00:20:42,907 what I was working on. 421 00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:44,742 Well... 422 00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:46,844 I dismantled the portal. 423 00:20:46,846 --> 00:20:49,146 An inter-dimensional gateway is too dangerous 424 00:20:49,148 --> 00:20:50,915 for the world it feeds into. 425 00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:53,784 That's why I was mad at Stan for using it. 426 00:20:53,786 --> 00:20:55,486 He saved me, but as I feared, 427 00:20:55,488 --> 00:20:58,923 the instability of the machine created this. 428 00:20:58,925 --> 00:21:00,758 An inter-dimensional rift. 429 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:02,226 I've contained it for now, 430 00:21:02,228 --> 00:21:04,161 but it's incredibly dangerous. 431 00:21:04,163 --> 00:21:06,163 Dipper, I don't want you to tell anyone about this. 432 00:21:06,165 --> 00:21:08,065 Not Stan, not even your sister. 433 00:21:08,067 --> 00:21:11,269 - Do you understand? - Oh, of course. 434 00:21:11,271 --> 00:21:14,405 In my time, I've made many powerful enemies. 435 00:21:14,407 --> 00:21:17,141 But I trust you with this secret. 436 00:21:17,143 --> 00:21:19,277 Now get yourself to bed. 437 00:21:19,279 --> 00:21:21,946 I have much research to do. 438 00:21:21,948 --> 00:21:23,414 Good night, Great-uncle Ford. 439 00:21:23,416 --> 00:21:25,049 Good night, Dipper. 440 00:21:38,230 --> 00:21:40,965 Guys, do you ever think maybe we're doin' this 441 00:21:40,967 --> 00:21:42,833 'cause our lives aren't special enough? 442 00:21:42,835 --> 00:21:45,102 That we use fantasy as an escape to avoid 443 00:21:45,104 --> 00:21:46,504 the self-improvement we all need? 444 00:21:46,506 --> 00:21:47,838 That maybe we should just go out 445 00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:49,240 and grow with people? 446 00:21:49,242 --> 00:21:52,443 Fortresses can't speak Durland. 447 00:21:52,445 --> 00:21:54,445 I'm a fortress. 448 00:21:56,915 --> 00:21:58,949 Does anyone wanna rescue him? 449 00:21:58,951 --> 00:22:01,652 - Ah, I'm tired. - I'm good. 450 00:22:01,654 --> 00:22:03,321 Long day. 451 00:22:03,323 --> 00:22:05,022 ♪ Don't step to the wizard 452 00:22:05,024 --> 00:22:05,956 ♪ 'cause the wizard don't play nice ♪